I watched as dust filled his lungs; he was coughing the last air he had out. Still conscious, his large, emerald-green eyes shot around, looking at me desperately. I watched helplessly as he took his last breaths, tears falling as I desperately try to find a way into the room. I tried to scream but nothing came out. I fell to the ground, my body quaked as the pain poured over me. My heart felt like someone just tore it in half repeatedly until all that was left were the shattered remains. In that moment I felt ALONE, like the last thing that bought me any sense of joy, happiness or even the wish to escape and live on was gone. That’s because he was. Unable to stop myself from crying, I just sat there for a while. It then dawned on me sitting here and crying isn’t going to get me a safe place to sleep tonight nor some food, so I gave my small brothers body one last adoring look before I took off.
I ran through the town distressed as my body ached both physically and internally. My heart was beating faster than normally, and anger washed over me. I just wanted to scream at the top of my lungs! Why does it all have to happen to me? This past year has been the worst year ever. First our parents leave us as to fulfill their dream life on a yacht, travelling around the sea, then we begin to be followed by a darkness, a mysterious energy and now it has taken my brother. My one and only life source, the singular reason for me to keep going! A fragile, creative, caring, hopeful, young boy.
I kick and punch the air which is surprisingly stress relieving. I start to move, dance if you can even call it that. It just felt so relaxing like all the weight holding me down had been removed, for once in my life I felt free. Free of all my worries and insecurities, like everything that happened in the past year all had a reason. As if they were puzzle pieces fitting into place. People passing by stopped to watch as I frolicked around the previously empty passageway. I danced and danced ignoring the approaching darkness until I could see the glimmering stars shining in the sky as well as the heavenly, celestial rock we know as the moon. People left their change on the concrete floor in front of me, some left coins others left notes, either way I showered them with gratitude as I continued to prance around. I danced my heart out until my feet felt numb and I was exhausted.
As the people cleared out, I was crawling around on the rough ground picking up all the money that had been so generously given to me. I stared at it blankly. I tried to count but was unfortunately unable to as I had never been taught how. I stood there for a while unsure how to go around this situation but eventually gave up. My brain was wobbly and numb, it was not working how it’s meant to. I just then realised that I needed a place to sleep for the night, so I placed the money inside the pocket of my jacket and ran along.
There are few key things to think about when finding shelter such as: Wind direction, warmth, water sources and wildlife. My favourite spot to sleep would be in one of those cubby houses in public playgrounds, although most of the time I just end up sleeping on a park bench. They weren’t the most comfortable places to sleep but they are better than nothing.
I was scouting for a place to sleep and just as I settled on a park bench my stomach started rumbling; I don’t think I have eaten for a good 3 days, so I gathered my money and went into a nearby supermarket. Unsure of the amount of money I held, I had to be smart about this. I had 2 options: I could ask someone for help, or I could just guess and hope I have enough. I didn’t want to suffer the awkwardness of not having enough money, so I decided to go with option 1.
I walked up to the nearest, nicest looking worker and mustered some courage before saying “Hey, could you please help me buy some food, my mum gave me this money for dinner while she is at work, and I don’t know how to add prices” I tried to sound as normal as possible, but it was difficult.
She was really kind and agreed to help me, so I handed her the money, and we began. We walked around and she asked me some questions like “Do you have any allergies? Do you want a hot or cold dinner?” I explained to her that I would love a hot meal but am not allowed to use the oven and we don’t have a microwave. Both lies but if she knew otherwise, she would call CPS and I had just escaped the wrath of them so there is no way I was going back.
We eventually settled on fried chicken and a small chocolate for dessert. I thanked the kind worker before skipping out of the store and returning to my park bench. I then ripped open the food package and dug into my feast. The warm chicken sat comfortably in my stomach, I finally felt full. A feeling I hadn’t felt in a while. It felt good. My eyelids then began to feel heavy, and they slowly shut. I had drifted off into a deep sleep.
The worker from earlier walked out of the store as her shift ended. She saw me lying there, a small defenceless child out in the freezing cold. She slowly approached me and tapped my shoulder. I stirred awake as she whispered to me “Hello sweet child, I sensed something off earlier when you came to me. Where is your mother?” I was half asleep, so I didn’t think before replying with “I don’t have one… please don’t call CPS”. Softly she said “I won’t do anything you don’t want me too, don’t be afraid please, I shall take you to my house and you can sleep in a nice, warm, comfortable bed. I’ll keep you safe, feed you and cater for all your needs.”
I was nearly frozen, so I accepted the offer. She welcomed me into her home, her life, and her family. She was there whenever I was sick, sad, or scared.
Dear Francessca,
You are the best thing that ever happened to me. The day you took me in will forever be engraved into my mind. You took me in when I needed someone the most. You never gave up on me however annoying I was. You took me to dance class where I learned to better my skills. You taught me to read, write and everything else I know.
I love you so much and I will be eternally grateful for your kind heart and how you could see right through me and my lies. Words cannot describe my everlasting love for you so I’m going to end it here.
I’ll Love you forevermore.
Haven ❤️
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