Crooked Trees

Chapter 1: What this is about. 

There was a knock on the door. It was Donald Trump.

He was invited to North Korea to have a sleepover with Kim Jong-un. 

‘No trashing the house, Kim, his mom called out. ‘You remember what happened when Xi Jinping and Vladimir Putin showed up last time?’

At 7:45 pm, Vladimir showed up, and they could start. They rolled out their sleeping bags and got out their toys. Kim Jong-un had his sniper plush, Donald had his Elon Musk doll, and Putin had his Winnie the Poo. Then they put on their pyjamas. Kim’s PJs were green with missiles on them, Putins were blue with vodka bottles, and Donald’s were pink with little love hearts.

Chapter 2: Party calls

‘Kim’. Donald Trump said. ‘You told us not to eat until we arrived’. 

‘That’s right, we are ordering pizza; I stole my mum’s credit card’. Kim dialled a number. ‘I’ll have a pepperoni pizza and 2 cheese pizzas’. He said into the phone.

Before they could make the 2nd phone call, Kim’s mom walked into the room.

‘Boy’s I’ll be home by tomorrow, I am trusting you to go to sleep at 10:00pm.’

‘I won’t by my mama’. Kim replied. ‘Goodnight boys’. She said before closing the front door.

After that, they ordered desserts. Kim ordered ice cream and donuts. Putin ordered doritos and vodka, and Donald ordered Oreos and MTN Dew.

‘Did you bring the game, Donald?’ Kim asked. Donald pulled out his copy of Call of Duty Warfare. Hey,’ Putin pointed out. ‘I thought your mom only let you play PG-rated games.’  

‘She’s gone sissy’. Kim replied. ‘Don’t tell her, or I’ll tell your mom that you’ve been making out at school with my sister.’

‘Shut up and let’s play!’ Donald yelled. 

Chapter 3: Pizza Craziness

By 8:10, their match was still going strong. ‘I’m down! Heal me!’ ‘That seems like a you problem’. Donald replied. ‘No, I died!’ Putin said angrily.

*DING DONG* ‘You get it, Putin!’ Kim said, keeping his eyes on the TV. 

Putin answered and used the credit card to pay the tip.

‘UGH!’ Trump groaned. We died to a 5 year old.

Putin opened the pizza boxes. ‘You ordered Pizza Hut?!’ Trump said shockingly. ‘Kim, dominoes are the best.’

‘Guys, I don’t know dominoes number’. Kim replied. ‘Donald, like your fat belly, even needs more pizza.’ 

‘While I prefer dominoes, I am pretty hungry,’ Putin said. They sat down for another game while eating their pizza.

‘NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!’ Kim yelled out. ‘I forgot to charge my PS4!’ At that moment, they disconnected from the round. 

‘Lol, you noobs lost’. Trump laughed and threw a pizza slice at Putin.

‘Hey, since we have nothing to do, let’s prank our neighbours for a while’.

Kim said with an evil grin.

Chapter 4: Prank of the century

It was 8:50pm and the sun was down. The three world leaders went outside with a flashlight, leftover pizza, and a crate of eggs.

‘This is my neighbour Yoon Suk-Yeol, and his house is kinda plain, so let’s attack.’

Putin started throwing eggs at the wall of the house. Donald tossed rolls of toilet paper over the roof, and Kim spray-painted offensive words on the front of the house. 

This will wake him up,’ Donald said and threw a rock at the window. ‘AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!!!’

Yoon screamed. ‘KIM, I AM CALLING THE POLICE!!!’ ‘Well, I’m calling your wife!’ Kim yelled.

Putin threw an egg at Yoon’s face.

Yoon ran downstairs and pressed a button. His backyard gate opened, and 2 guard dogs lunged out.

‘RUN!!!’ Kim yelled. The 3 world leaders ran out of the yard. Trump bolted ahead. 

Putin tripped on his shoelace. ‘NO!’ He yelled as the guard dog grabbed him. ‘SAVE ME!!!’ ‘You lost Kim!’ Yoon grinned. 

Donald threw a pizza slice at Yoon, knocking his phone out of his hand. The phone then fell into a gutter. 

‘NOOOO!!!’ Yoon yelled again. ‘There goes you calling the police,’ Kim said happily. 

Kim and Donald grabbed their stuff and ran. ‘Don’t tell anyone’. Donald yelled. ‘Or I’ll call your wife and let her know that you have been cheating on her’.

Yoon sighed. ‘Here,’ he shoved Putin at them. ‘You can have your friend back; just please don’t call my wife.’

‘Then it’s settled.’ Putin said with a grin. The 3 walked back home to continue the sleepover.

Chapter 5: Hide the evidence

It was 9:20pm, and the desserts had finally arrived. 

The 3 kids got into a feeding frenzy, stuffing as many Doritos, Oreos, doughnuts, ice cream and Vodka as they could handle.

‘I feel sleepy’. Putin said, groaning. 

‘It’s not even 10:00pm, wussy’. Donald Trump replied.

‘You drank too much vodka, idiot’. Kim said with a smirk.

Suddenly, the phone rang. Kim answered. It was his dad. 

‘Hey Kim, I’ll be home in 20 minutes. The house better be spotless’. Kim looked at the food all over the floor nervously. ‘GUYS! MY BEDROOM IS A MESS!’ Kim yelled. ‘IF WE DON’T CLEAN UP THE SLEEPOVER IS DOOMED!’

Putin vacuumed the snacks whilst Kim sorted away his laundry.

Trump is usually pretty lazy, but he helped to make the sleepover continue.

‘Here! Plug this into the PS4’. Kim handed him a copy of “Just Dance”. 

‘Why would we want to play this god-awful game?!’ Trump said, confused.

‘We can’t play Call of Duty in front of my dad’. Kim replied. At 9:50pm, his dad came home and went into Kim’s room.

‘Hi, Dad!’ Kim said. ‘We’re playing just dance but very soon we will go to bed’. 

‘All right’. His dad responded.

‘You kids have fun. I’ll go to bed in 10 minutes,’ Kim’s father said, yawning and leaving.

‘Whew!’ Kim sighed, that was close.

Chapter 6: Nuclear Gambling

At 10:00pm Putin woke up again after being slapped by Kim and Donald.

‘What else did you guys bring?’ Kim asked. ‘I brought some nuclear weapons so we can trade and compare’. ‘Me too’. Putin replied, they both reached into their bags.

‘Putin your bombs suck. They look even older than Sleepy Joe. Which is saying something since Joe is basically a crumbling fossil’.

‘Fine’. Putin said angrily. Let’s gamble on them. Kim’s dad wasn’t asleep yet so they played it safe and played go-fish. 

Or in Kim’s house it was known as go-nuke.

After 10 minutes it looked like Donald was gonna win but Putin got the win instead.

‘Gimmie you’re nukes guys’. Putin said with a smirk.

‘No Way!’ Trump yelled. First to win 3 games wins.

After 40-50 minutes the scores were added. 

Kim was on 0, Donald was on 1 and Putin won with 3. 

‘Let’s go I won!’ Putin cheered. Kim and Donald gave Putin half their weapons. 

‘I liked Putin better when he was drunk’. Kim whispered to Trump.

Chapter 7: Bromance

By 10:45pm Kim’s dad was asleep.

‘Ok guys, I’ll show you guys a fun game’.

Kim pulled an empty vodka bottle from under the bed. 

‘Let’s play spin the bottle’. Kim said with a grin.

‘We will each bet our Nuclear weapons on who will land on who. Whoever gets their answer right first wins. The 2 people in that answer will make out’.

Kim spun it first and it landed on Putin. No one guessed that. 

‘I bet I’ll land on Donald’. Putin said but it landed on Kim.

‘I bet I’ll land on Putin’. Trump said and gave it a hard spin.

It landed on Kim. ‘I bet I’ll land on Donald’. Kim spun and landed on himself.

Eventually Donald spun and it landed on Putin. 

‘My guess was right! Come here baby cakes’. Donald said and the 2 men made out.

‘Get your bromance out of here!’ Kim yelled so the 2 guys went into the bathroom. 

They were there for ages. 

‘Hurry up’. Kim said. ‘I have to urinate and then we can watch scary videos together!’

Chapter 8: Horror Films

At 11:20pm Kim got the ipad which had the scary videos.

The 3 got onto Kim’s bed and under the covers.

Kim had a horror movie called: “Blood Sucking Psychos” 

It started out with a man named Eugene who was at work until an army of psychos from the power plant ripped open peoples skulls.

They attacked everyone except Eugene and 2 of his friends who were being chased.

45 minutes in, it was so scary that Putin panicked. ‘Please turn it off’. Putin said, covering his eyes and clinging onto Trump.

Kim knew that Putin was about to scream and ruin the sleepover.

‘Fine’. Kim said. ‘Because you’re scared, I’ll stop’.

After a little while everyone calmed down.

‘I am a little tired, you know’. Kim said, rubbing his eyes.

‘Wusses’. Donald said. At that moment Putin stood up. 

He was sleepwalking and left the room.

‘Seriously?!’ Donald said.

Chapter 9: The Sleep-Hike

12:05am and Putin was actually sleepwalking.

‘If my parents wake up I’ll be enraged!’ Kim said.

Putin walked downstairs to the refrigerator but didn’t grab a snack. 

Instead he grabbed the keys and left the house.

Kim and Donald followed him across the street through the park and to the train tracks.

‘Let’s wake that dumb head!’ Donald said and walked up to him.

‘Don’t!’ Kim said. ‘If you wake up a sleepwalker you die’. 

Putin walked across the train tracks. ‘I guess he will die either way’. Kim said.

‘You actually believe in that trash Kim?!’ Donald said. 

PAAAAARRRP!!! A train was coming about to hit Putin. ‘HURRY Donald!’ Kim yelled. 

Donald got a bucket of hot water from a tank and dunked Putin’s hand into it.

‘Where am I?’ He asked. He saw the train 10 metres away from him.

‘AAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!’ he leaped off the tracks 1 second before the train hit him.

‘Lol you wet your pants sissy’. Trump said laughing.

Chapter 10: The final contest

By 12:50am they made it home.

It turns out their dad left late at night to pick up Kim’s mum.

So the 3 decided to have a pillow fight.

‘RRRRAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHH!!!’ They screamed whacking each other.

They stole a huge batch of chocolate bars and popcorn from the fridge so they were jumping, eating and hitting each other with pillows.

‘This is the best night ever!!!’ Kim screamed. ‘It’s 1:00am so the night is over,’ Donald yelled!!!

After 30 minutes the party was over and they went to bed.

‘That was fun!’ Putin said. ‘Yeah,’ Kim replied. ‘We ate pizza, pranked our neighbour, made out, watched a horror movie and followed Putin sleepwalking’.

‘Yeah,’ Putin replied. ‘Although I woke up with wet pants’.

‘Well guys, time for our final contest’. Said Donald. ‘Whoever is the last to fall asleep wins 5 dollars from the other 2’.

They lied in bed. Putin on the right, Donald in the middle and Kim on the left.

At 1:20am Putin fell asleep. ‘To much vodka’. Whispered Donald.

‘I guess it’s just you and me Kim, I’ve got this in the bag, you’re already dashing off meanwhile I once stayed up to 3:00am easy, like you wouldn’t stand a chance agains-’.

Donald was out cold. Kim had won the staying up battle.

In the morning they were going to trash the house again. Eventually at 1:45am Kim had fallen asleep, his last thought was: 

‘I’ll tell them about the fact that this is a 2 night sleepover tomorrow.’